I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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