Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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