perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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