Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Randomize
