OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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