areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
