Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
