Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
