Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
