...so i touched it.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
