Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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