New low: just hacked my moms facebook
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
