i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
