just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
