Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
