So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Randomize
