batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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