how can u be prego again
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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