How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Pants are for mortals
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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