sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
