it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
