And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Randomize
