I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
no more duck duck goose at the bar
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Randomize
