didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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