porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Randomize
