You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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