just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
