Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
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