At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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