and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
