i always forget guys have bellybuttons
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
