at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
