For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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