Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Randomize
