I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
