so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
