thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
