Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
