That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
