Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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