I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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