he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
