you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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