I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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