I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
