you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
