Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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