For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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