My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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