That's when you crack a 10am beer
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
