i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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