She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
